Ways on How to Annoy Sanada to Hell
by XiiaoRaye
Summary: Join the Rikkaidai regulars on a quest to annoy Sanada to hell. Chapter 11:" I will not dress as Sanada Genichirou and make a fool out of him..."
1. Clone Confessions!

Author's Note: New story

**Author's Note: **New story! 3 I felt like making one because I had no inspiration whatsoever to continue my other fic. I'm not getting anymore reviews.. . And, I absolutely HATE people who flame without leaving their username, especially if they don't tell me how to improve and just say stuff like YOUR WRITING SUCKS. Anon. Criticism is fine and dandy but flaming in anon is just plain mean! Okay… I think my author's note is too long XD

**Summary:**

_Join the Rikkaidai regulars on a quest to annoy Sanada to hell._

--Chapter 1 "I will not dress up like Sanada and confess to Yukimura-Buchou"--

The day had started out perfectly, with no signs of mischief from anyone…

Yet.

Afternoon practice had just begun, and Sanada realized that some people were missing.

Looking around, he could only see Jackal balancing boxes of cake, Marui eating boxes of

cake, Yanagi teaching Akaya about the wonders of fractions, and Yagyuu putting a new

grip tape on his racket. Sanada felt that something was amiss, but could not seem to put a

finger on it.

His eyes turned to focus on Yagyuu, whose silver haired partner was no

where in sight. Sanada sighed, knowing that the trickster was most likely up to all sorts of

mischief again. Just then, he saw Yukimura walk out of the clubroom and asked,

"Yukimura, have you seen Niou around?" Yukimura blushed and looked down, "Anou…

Just now when you c…confessed to me, did you really mean it?" Sanada's face turned an

interesting range of colors.

First, his face turned red, then green, and blue, and lastly,

from blue to purple, before managing to scream out, "TARUNDORU! NIOU

MASAHARU!" He made for the clubroom, and opened the door only to scream in shock,

before fainting. There was Yukimura, in his naked glory, wearing nothing but a pair of

boxers, looking innocently at him.

Akaya chose this exact moment to come into the

clubroom and pointing at Sanada yelling, "Look! Look! Sanada-fukubuchou was peeping

at 'Mura-buchou!" Marui rolled his eyes, "Technically, you're peeping too, since 'Mura-

buchou hasn't finished changing yet." Yanagi popped out of nowhere and said, "Chances

of this being Niou's doing, 94.8 per cent." Yukimura looked at all of them with the 'Talk

anymore and I'll kill you' smile, shutting them up successfully, and making them run out

of the clubroom.

When they had all left, Yukimura smiled at Niou. "Saa, that was fun wasn't it?"


	2. Gummy Gum!

Author's Note: For those who didn't understand the previous chapter, the naked Yukimura was Yukimura himself, and the other guy was Niou

**Author's Note:** For those who didn't understand the previous chapter, the naked Yukimura was Yukimura himself, and the other guy was Niou. They planned the whole thing D. Evil Yukimura...

--Chapter 2 "I will not spit gum into Sanada's cap"--

After the mishap with Yukimura in the clubroom, Sanada had been afraid to go anywhere within a fifty meter radius of Yukimura, and Niou had a big red hand mark on his face for days, and decided to keep out of trouble for the time being.

That afternoon, Marui and Jackal were playing a match with Yagyuu and Niou. Yanagi, as usual, was recording all the data he could get from the match and Sanada was playing a game with Yukimura. Suddenly, a familiar sophomore burst into the courts. "MARUI SENPAI MARUI SENPAI MARUI SENPAI LOOK WHAT I GOT!!" The curly haired boy yelled, jumping up and down like a monkey, holding a purple tube.

Marui's eyes widened, before he totally bounced out of the court and snatched the gum away. "THE GUM OF JUSTICE! IT'S MINE! MINE! ALL MINE!" Akaya's eyes turned red, and he transformed into…DEMON AKAYA! Marui shrieked like a girl and ran around the courts, popping gum after gum into his mouth.

After running for the entire practice, both Marui and Akaya were worn out. Marui looked around and realized that there was nowhere for him to throw his gum. Just then, Yukimura walked up to him, holding something blue. "Here, you can deposit your gum here." He smiled sweetly. Marui, being the most ignorant guy in the world… Oh wait, Marui, being the second most ignorant guy in the world, complied and spat his gum out, right into Sanada's cap. Satisfied, Yukimura walked to the clubroom, and placed Sanada's cap back on the bench, before running off. Sanada, who had just finished changing did not suspect a single thing and just put on his cap. "SQUELCH" Something gooey had met with his hair. Sanada froze. He tried to tug his cap away from his hair, but realized that the cap was stuck firmly to his head. Yanagi walked over and inspected his hair. "Ii data. It seems that someone has put gum on your hair. The probability of getting the gum out of your hair without losing any of your hair is 0.0001 per cent."

Sanada saw red. Steam puffed out comically from his ears and once again he screamed. "MARUI BUNTA!"

-Back at Marui's house-

"Ahchoo!" Marui rubbed his nose with a tissue and blinked. "Someone must be talking about me…"

-Sanada's House –

"Saa, Genichirou, how would you like your hair to be cut?" Sanada's mother said, holding a scissors, leaking evil aura.

**Note: **3 Poor Sanada and Evil Yukimura! oh well, R and R minna!


	3. Smiling Sanada!

Author's notes: YAY

**Author's notes: **YAY! Thank you for those reviews!

To Bianca-chan: Yeah, I'm making 'Mura Buchou kind of OOC, but where's the fun in the story if he's not? –Insert evil laugh here-

MUAHAHA MORE SANADA TORTURE!

Chapter 3 "I will not try to make Sanada smile…EVER"

After the bubblegum incident, Sanada had shaved his head bald, like Jackal. Fortunately, thanks to a certain "ore-sama",

Sanada's hair grew back really fast. Sanada cursed himself for having to stoop as low as to asking Atobe, the emperor of

narcissists for help. Unfortunately for him, what Sanada did not know was that today was going to be another amazingly

terrible day.

_Kirihara residence…_

"I'm going to get hell from Sanada fukubuchou if I'm late for morning practice again!" Akaya said, running out of the house.

Just then, Akaya was struck with a random bout of randomness. 'I WANT TO MAKE SANADA FUKUBUCHOU SMILE TODAY' said

his head. Strange… He swore he could feel those creepy 'Mura-Buchou waves all over him.

_Yukimura residence_

"Yes Akaya… You will be totally random and make Genichirou smile today…" Yukimura grinned evilly while swirling his hands

around a voodoo doll.

_Rikkai Dai Fuzoku _

Sanada's eyebrow twitched. Someone somewhere must have been talking about him.

Shrugging, he changed his clothes and walked out of the clubroom. He should have not let down his guard…But for the

purpose of the story, he just had to, or this chapter would have ended right there and then. Right, back to the story, Akaya

burst into the gates, ran towards Sanada and yelled, "SANADA FUKUBUCHOU I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU SMILE TODAY!" Sanada

blinked. Once. Twice. Thrice. "TARUNDORU!!" –Slap- "Ow! 'Mura Buchou!! Sanada fukubuchou is being a meanie again!"

Yukimura turned around and smiled his 'Slap him again and you'll pay' smile, "Genichirou…" he warned. Sanada sighed and

complied, after glaring at Akaya. Akaya then took out a voodoo doll which had mysteriously appeared on his doorstep that

morning which was dressed oddly like Sanada, and reversed the mouth of the voodoo doll. After awhile, when nothing

happened, Akaya frowned and threw the voodoo away into some random place.

_Later that day…_

"AHHHHHHHH!" A rather girly shriek came from the clubroom while everyone was in the middle of practice. Akaya tapped Niou,

"What's up with Marui-senpai?"

"Leave him alone brat, he's having his monthly." Niou scoffed. Before Akaya could ask what a monthly was, Marui ran out from

the clubroom yelling, "THERE'S A CREEPY SMILEY DEATH CLOWN IN THE CLUBROOM! IT LOOKED AS FIERCE AS SANADA

FUKUBUCHOU, AS SMILEY AS 'MURA BUCHOU AND AS CREEPY AS FUJI SYUSUKE FROM SEIGAKU!!" Everyone stared at Marui as

if he was mad and so, the rikkai regulars went to check out the clubroom. Upon opening the clubroom, they saw… Sanada…

Smiling… Creepily… Yagyuu fainted standing up, Yanagi scribbled down notes as fast as he could, trying not to look at

Sanada's hideous face, Marui shrieked and ran out of the clubroom pulling Jackal along with him, Niou's mouth was wide open

like a fishes, Akaya 'eeped' and hid behind Yukimura while Yukimura just stood there and smiled innocently. "Saa, Genichirou,

would you please stop smiling?"

"I can't… My face muscles have cramped…"

**Notes: **LOL! Poor Sanada! XD oh well, R & R minna! Thank youus!


	4. Inui Intro!

Author's Note: Waii

**Author's Note: **Waii! Thank you for reviews na!! glomps minna Here's chapter 4!

Chapter 4 "I will not introduce Inui juice to tennis practices."

After Yukimura had 'somehow' recovered the voodoo doll, and undid the smile on Sanada's face, things went back to normal

again…Or not…

It was afternoon practice, and everyone had just finished doing their warm ups and running their laps. As usual, the first years

went to practice their racket swings, the second years went to practice playing matches against the non regulars and the

regulars started to arrange matches amongst themselves, when suddenly, Inui popped out behind them. "Ah, Sadaharu, I

was expecting you. There was a 97.86 per cent chance that you would pop by today instead of tomorrow as there was a

64.73 per cent that it would rain tomorrow…" "As usual, Renji, I predicted a 81.29 per cent chance of you figuring that I would

come today…" "TARUNDORU!!" Sanada could not take much more percentage comparison. "Ah, there is a 100 per cent chance

that your captain is furious, as such I will give you what you requested for and leave immediately." After handing Yanagi a box

which read 'fragile', Inui mysteriously vanished into the bushes. Akaya was totally freaked out. "I thought only Yanagi-senpai

could talk the language of the unknown!" Yukimura just continued smiling like nothing happened.

Marui popped a bubble. "So… Why don't you open it?" Yanagi grinned, and took out the jug of vile obsidian liquid. Everyone

except Yukimura and Sanada immediately made a face. Yukimura smiled, "Saa, that looks delicious, I'd love to try it." "Yes,

Sadaharu uses this drink to boost the performance of his team. I hear he gives it to regulars who lose in tennis matches,

therefore, the people who lose today will have to drink one cup of Inui Rikkai juice special!"

Sanada's eyebrow twitched.

"Tarundoru! Akaya and Yanagi, your match will be in C court! Marui and Jackal, Niou and Yagyuu, B court! Yukimura and I will

be in A court. Any objections?" "Not fair! Yanagi-senpai will make me drink that horrible juice!" Akaya whined. Sanada glared

at him, successfully silencing him. After the matches had ended, it resulted in Marui, Jackal, Akaya and Sanada's loss. Bracing

himself, Sanada took a gulp of the dreaded juice when he realised that something was crawling in the juice. Tilting the cup, he

saw big, juicy mealworms crawling around the juice, their body liquids oozing out with each crawl.

Sanada fainted.

**Note: **Wahaha! Yanagi's turn to cause trouble XD


	5. Crazy Chest!

Author's Notes: I forgot to mention this earlier, but thank you to Mako-kun, for giving me the mealworm idea

**Author's Notes:** I forgot to mention this earlier, but thank you to Mako-kun, for giving me the mealworm idea! It was cool! And thank you to Sacchan for the boob job idea XD! Anyone with any suggestions for the next few chapters, shoot 'em at me!

Chapter 5 "I will not tell Sanada that he did a boob job."

Ever since the day Inui brought his juice over to Rikkai, Sanada had banned Yanagi from ever, EVER, using that stuff during practice. The strange happenings had stopped… For now.

As everyone knows, Rikkai Dai Fuzoku is a very, Very, whacky school. As such, the students AND teachers are crazy. Akaya knew for a fact that his teacher, Mitsuoka-sensei, or whatever her name was, did not have anything better to do than to gossip about her personal life. He slumped onto the table, trying to get some sleep when he suddenly heard a very interesting word. "boob job".

Kirihara Akaya was not an industrious boy, but he heard Niou-senpai mention something like that before, and according to his little brain, anything and everything that Niou-senpai did or said was interesting.

When the bell rang, Akaya raced out of his classroom and bumped into Yagyuu. "Yagyuu - senpai, Yagyuu - senpai! What is a boob job?" Yagyuu sputtered and choked on his can of peach soda. "N…nani?! What has Niou been telling you?" Akaya smiled innocently. "My teacher said it! Quick! Tell me, tell me, tell me!" Yagyuu sweat dropped. An excited Akaya was equivalent to a sugar high Marui. "Well…It's someone who made their chest bigger…" Akaya's eyes turned big and round. "Sugoi! That means that Sanada - fukubuchou has done a boob job?!" Without waiting for Yagyuu to finish, Akaya sped off to find Sanada and ask him.

Yagyuu sweat dropped once again, and could only imagine what it would be like to be Sanada. Although, he did not have a chance to tell Akaya that boob job was meant for females. Shaking his head, he proceeded after Akaya to clear the misunderstanding.

Upon reaching the courts, he heard Akaya running up to the courts yelling, "Senpai-tachi! Guess what Yagyuu-senpai told me! Sanada – fukubuchou did a boob job!" Everyone turned and stared.

After five minutes… "SANADA – FUKUBUCHOU DID A WHAT?!" Marui screamed. Sanada glared at Yagyuu. "TARUNDORU! YAGYUU, EXPLAIN OURSELF!"

Yagyuu adjusted his glasses. "Akaya, you didn't let me finish explaining. Only girls can have a boob job." Akaya and Marui's eyes widened. "SO FUKUBUCHOU IS A GIRL?!" they asked in unison. "TARUNDORU!" slap

**Note: **hehehe, too weird? XD reviews please? bows in appreciation


	6. Fakeout Makeout!

Author's Note: YAY

**Author's Note:** YAY! Another chapter up! My term vacation is starting woots! So I can update more often ). This chapter is specially dedicated to Bianca-chan's favourite crack-ish pair. Anyone with suggestions can review or PM me 

Chapter 6 "I will not 'make out' with Ryuzaki Sakuno in the clubroom after practice."

Akaya was angry. Firstly, Sanada – fukubuchou had slapped him that day because

Yagyuu – senpai 'told' him that Sanada – fukubuchou was a 'girl' who did a 'boob job'.

Apparently, Sanada – fukubuchou was 'PMSing', as Niou liked to say. Who knew girls

could be so moody?

To add on to the situation, Niou – senpai had permanently scarred him for life, by

showing him those porno magazines of nude girls making out. Oh, the horror!

Sanada, himself, was pissed off. He was sure Yukimura now had a bad impression of

him. He swore that he would get back at Yagyuu for what happened.

After everyone else left, Sanada took a drink from the water cooler, and proceeded to the

clubroom. When he opened the door, he quickly took off his clothes and entered the

showers.

While he was showering, he heard voices coming from the clubhouse. He also heard a

girl's voice. … A girl's voice?!

"Yagyuu – senpai, it's been so long since we had so much fun together!" The girl said.

Sanada blinked. That voice was rather familiar. "Aa, Sakuno – chan, take that off, it

wouldn't be convenient if you had that on while we have our fun." Sanada's nose started

to bleed. His face turned beet red.

Sakuno… It was that red, pigtailed hair girl freshman from Seigaku wasn't it? He dashed

out of the showers, naked, yelling, "Tarundoru!! Yagyuu! What are you doing?" Sakuno

screamed. Sakuno shrieked when she saw Sanada naked, and Yagyuu stared.

Lo and Behold, Yagyuu and Sakuno were practicing yoga.

**Note: **yayness! R and R :


	7. Poisonous Perfume!

Author's note: I got this idea from this Rikkai fanfiction where they went to yukimura's house to watch notebook : dang, I can't remember the title

**Author's note:** I got this idea from this Rikkai fanfiction where they went to yukimura's house to watch notebook : dang, I can't remember the title .

Chapter 7: "I will not spray Sanada's jersey with my sister's perfume."

_Yukimura Household:_

Yukimura snuck in quietly, making sure she didn't catch him. If she did, he would be

dead meat. Opening her closet stealthily, he immediately covered his nose and mouth

with a cloth, to protect himself from the pungent odour. Yukimura grinned. Mission :

Sneak into onee – chan's closet was a success.

Now for part two.Yukimura dashed into the never ending closet, and came out with a

little pink bottle of… of… PERFUME? Yukimura chuckled evilly to himself, wrapped

the perfume in a cloth and headed out for morning practice.

_On the way to school_

Sanada Genichirou was angry, very angry, and extremely angry. He had disgraced his

family by letting a freshman girl, who wasn't even from his school see him naked.

Yagyuu had ignored him since then. Then again, Yagyuu was too nice to ignore Sanada,

so he forgave him after he apologised to both him and Sakuno.

Now where were we? Oh yes, Sanada was extremely angry. So angry, that he screamed at

a random tennis club freshman, who ran away crying.

Today was NOT a good day to make Sanada anymore pissed off than he already was.

_Morning Practice_

Upon arriving at practice, Yukimura smiled his infamous "go – and - do - something –

and - stop looking - at - me - you – biotch" smile, which successfully chased the people

who were within a fifty meter radius of Yukimura away. "Saa, Sanada, at least from now

on, you will learn that it is NOT very nice to have a sweaty jersey, ne?" Yukimura said,

while spraying the entire contents of the perfume bottle onto Sanada's jersey.

Sanada, who was currently playing a game with Yanagi sneezed. 'Someone's talking

about me. :' He thought.

Just as Sanada was voicing out his thoughts, a very familiar shriek was heard, followed

by a familiar wail and a familiar exclamation. Three things came into Sanada's mind.

'Marui Bunta, Kirihara Akaya, and Niou Masaharu.'

Sanada stormed to the location of the noise, and found Marui, Niou and Akaya's

unconscious bodies near his jersey.

Being the curious person he was, he walked up to them and immediately regretted it.

Sanada started to choke and claw at his throat, before wheezing and fainting on the

ground, due to the terribly strong smell of Yukimura's sister's perfume…

_: Gomena, if this chapter's a bit short :_


	8. Seme Sanada!

**Author's Note: **Gomen for taking so long to update :X Enjoy.

Chapter 8: " I will not litter the courts with pictures of hardcore yaoi"

(Special thanks to Fuji Syuusuke's 5 days of terror by Isilwe for the idea)

--

Before the story begins, let's take a trip to Japan Research Center and visit the Scientists shall we?

_To Japan Research Center we go...lalala_

"What the heck is this... Unidentified substance?!" Scientist 1 cried out, using a special tool to pluck out flecks of purplish - green spray located on a yellow jersey.

After hours of painstaking research, Scientist 2 came along, mysteriously holding a pitcher of Inui juice. "EUREKA! I'VE GOT IT!" Scientist 1 cheered,

prancing around the room, holding a Rikkai Dai Fuzoku Tennis Jersey and a jug of Inui Juice.

Just then, Inui Sadaharu walked into the room and pasted a label on the jug of Inui Juice which read 'Inui Parfum Royale'...

xxx

Now, let us zoom back to our favourite bunch of mischievious tennis players, their sadistic captain, the gentlemen, the datamen and the easily irritable Fukubuchou

Sanada Genichirou.

_At Rikkaidai we are...(echoes) Rikkaidai we are... are..._

Sanada was grumpy today. Very, VERY grumpy. He didn't understand if his team was simply retarded (with the exception of Yukimura of course), or if they were just

all out to get him. (wow, good intuition) Sighing and walking to the tennis courts, when he saw the commotion, he decided, perhaps they weren't retarded, nor were

they out to get him.

They were INSANE and were trying to ANNOY HIM TO HELL... With the exception of Yukimura of course.

Apparently, some fancy - schmancy person decided to sprinkle the courts with pages of a magazine. Irritated, Sanada grabbed the page, and his eyes bulged in

shock. On the page were two bulky and disgusting looking males making out. (Imagine twin kabajis would do fine) On the top, written in fine PINK ballpoint ink,

someone wrote "Seme is Yukimura, Uke is Sanada."

"TARUNDORU!" Just as Sanada was blaming his luck, Kirihara Akaya peeked over his shoulder and asked, "What's a uke?" Marui, who was right behind him started

jumping around yelling, "SANADA'S AN UKE! SANADA'S AN UKE! S-S-S-O-O-O-S-S-S!!"

Sanada was boiling with rage, the other tennis club members were all gathering around the courts to pick up pages yaoi magazine pictures and laughing at the

scene, despite the mentally scarring images.

"TARUNDORU! THIS IS ATROCIOUS! WHOEVER HEARD OF SUCH NONSENSE! I SHOULD BE THE ONE WHO TOPS YUKIMURA!" Sanada ripped his new jersey and started

to develop bulks of muscles and his skin turned green. Looks like Sanada finally cracked...

Everyone standing within a 100 meter radius of Sanada withered into nothingness.

_Locker room..._

Yukimura chuckled as he switched his video camera off and gave a thumbs up to Yanagi, who had recorded all the data down.


	9. Poor Jackal

**Author's Note: **Gomen for taking so long to update :X Enjoy.

Chapter 9: " I will not tell Marui he is fat "

--

His eyebrow twitched. Someone was talking about him and he didn't like it. Apparently, some unknown authoress who had

sort of abandoned his presence in her fic had decided that it was time to make him a main character for this chapter.

Jackal didn't like how Marui spent his money buying cakes and sweets, he didn't like it when Sanada Genichirou, his fuku -

buchou made him look after Akaya all the time. He decided that this time, he would take a stand! Jackal stood up with his

bald head glistening in the sun.

Oh, speak of the devil, Marui bounded up to him with his puppy dog eyes. "Jackaaaaaluuuuu" He whined. Jackal turned

around with a black face and growled at Marui. OO "You don't need anymore sweets you big round ball of fat!" Jackal

bellowed. Marui squealed like a girl and ran off crying. "NOOOOOO I'M FAT!!" He stumbled over a rock and toppled rather

ungracefully onto the floor... The drama...

Sanada stormed into the courts with steam coming out of his ears. Someone had published a CD of the entire yaoi magazine

fiasco and had made him very, very, VERY angry. Damn, when he caught that miserable unmentionable who was responsible

for it, he would be sure to slap them till there was no tomorrow.

An angry Sanada was a scary Sanada, and apparently, a Sanada wh didn't take note of his surroundings as well... He

tripped over Marui and fell over as ungracefully and melodramatically as Marui did, yelling in slow motion,

"Yuuuuukiiiiimuuuuuraaaaa..."

When he got up, he saw that the thing he fell over was Marui, who was currently cursing the world in a very, very, VERY

melodramatic way, girly way, which not manly at all. Damn, what a chick flick moment.

Sanada looked around furiously, and the first person he saw was Jackal, who whistled and looked away. Sanada roared,

"TARUNDORU!" and slapped Jackal.

"What the HELL did I do?"

"TARUNDORU! I hold you responsible for whatever happens to anyone around here!"

Poor, Poor, Jackal... Accused for things he didn't do, hated and unwanted in Rikkaidai... Maybe he should just go and commit

suicide and get Sanada into jail.


	10. Technologically Challenged

**A/N**: Sorry for taking such a long time to update xD Anyway, special thanks to Yuujirou, aka YuuYuu-nee and Blurdaydreamerxx for the ideas xD

Chapter 10 "I will not teach Sanada how to operate a computer…Yukimura's way"

_-The night before the authoress posted the chapter-_

"Seiichi, you should go to bed soon, it's almost midnight! You have training in the morning tomorrow!"

Yukimura grinned, as he saved bookmarked some web pages. "I'll be done in awhile, just saving some files for Niou-kun, I have to return his laptop tomorrow." '_Click, Click, Click' _

-_Niou Residence_-

"Puri, where'd my laptop go to?" Niou looked around his room and his gaze fell on the empty spot on the table where a piece of paper was attached.

"_Borrowed your laptop to bookmark some interesting pages. Show them to Gen-kun tomorrow when I return your laptop… Or else." – Yukimura Buchou_

Niou shivered, sensing the evil aura that leaked from the measly piece of paper itself. He could only begin to imagine what _links_ Mura – Buchou had stored in his precious laptop.

_-Authoress comes in and starts the fic-_

Sanada was proud of himself. He had achieved a new record of being 2 hours early for morning practice. Due to the recent bouts of mischief his team mates had caused, Sanada was afraid to take any chances. Ha! From today onwards, nobody would make a fool out of Sanada Genichirou! Sanada's mouth quirked, but he did not smile. No way on earth Sanada would ever ruin his perfect, manly appearance. He stopped short at what he saw when he entered the clubroom.

Niou was sitting there, _Niou, _with a strange black square propped up on a chair. This was not good. If Niou was early it could signify impending doom, or that the apocalypse was coming. Either way would end with catastrophic results.

"Tarundoru! Niou! What is that dangerous black object you have there?"

Niou looked up, smirking his trademark trickster smirk. "Sanada – fukubuchou, you really are technologically challenged! This here's a laptop. L – A – P – T – O – P. See here, these are some stuff Yukimura – Buchou sent you." Niou clicked on the bookmark page, gesturing to Sanada to click it.

Eyeing it warily, Sanada clicked the first link, which led to… _A porn site, filled with pictures of naked girls…_

"NOOOOO! YOU'LL NEVER MAKE ME STRAIGHT, NEVER! I TELL YOU! NEVER! TARUNDORU!" Sanada shrieked.

"Whoa, chill man, that's the wrong one you pressed. Those are my babies… But don't tell Hiro-chan!" Niou pointed to another link, which Sanada hesitantly clicked, leading them to a _hardcore yaoi page._

Apparently Yukimura had posted a few pictures of himself in full naked glory, and the URL was ..

"TARUNDORU!!! I'M THE SEME, NOT YUKIMURA! HOW MANY TIMES MUST I SAY THIS!!!"

-owari-

_-Somewhere in the bushes-_

"Ii data, Sanada has objections to being the uke." Yanagi scribbled furiously in his tiny little notebook. Yukimura grinned, "He'll soon see that I, Yukimura am always the seme! Muahahaha!"

**A/N: **Was that weird? Too OOC? xD Comments are appreciated!


	11. Scientific Sanada!

_Chapter 11 "I will not make a fool out of Sanada Genichirou by dressing as him__ and acting weird"_

_Credits to Yuujirou for the idea, and Feyren for… THE NOTEBOOK! xDD_

_Somewhere in the Streets of Kanagawa…_

Niou was walking along the road kicking the innocent pebbles on the street as he mourned the loss of his precious laptop. Sure, Yukimura - Buchou had promised to buy him a new laptop (Hey! Who says he isn't a good Buchou? xD), but his precious pictures of Hiro-chan and those naked girls were gone forever.

*Dramatic music plays as Niou drops to the ground in despair*

Niou wanted revenge on Yukimura – Buchou and Sanada, but how could he do it without incurring the wrath of Yukimura, the Great? Just then, Niou saw something that gave him an amazing idea. Quickly taking out his cell phone, he dialed Yagyuu's number.

"Hey, Hiro-chan, I need a favour from you, you see, it's like this…"

_The next day, at practice…_

Sanada headed for the clubroom at 4 in the morning. This time he was SURE he'd be the first to reach. Ha! Let's see how Niou or anyone else for that matter would be able to pull any tricks on him! Opening the door, Sanada almost turned to stone when he saw someone totally unexpected in the clubroom.

_One second…_

_Two seconds…_

_Three seconds…_

_*Cricket chirps*_

The mystery person chose that exact moment to look up. The light from the doorway made his glasses glint, increasing his scary aura a dozen times more than necessary. Sanada unfroze when he saw who it was, letting his guard down, which was a BIG mistake.

"O-oh, it's j-just you. Ahem."

Sanada cautiously side stepped away and proceeded to change out of his uniform. In a split second, the mystery person was in front of him, dangling a suspicious looking piece of paper in front of him. If Sanada was shocked, he didn't show it. Instead, he stiffly took it and inspected them carefully.

"A ticket to a movie? Wait, is this some kind of trick?"

Suddenly, Yukimura randomly burst into the room, whistling and skipping. He stopped abruptly when he saw what Sanada was holding.

"Oh, Gen-Chan you're going as well? Why don't we go together later, after school? Even if it's during training time, I've always wanted to see this movie."

"Hn." Sanada replied gruffly, but was inwardly blushing something furious. He pulled on his shirt and quickly raced out of the clubroom with Yukimura following closely behind him, chuckling.

Niou came out of his hiding place in the closet and grinned as he shook hands with Yagyuu.

"Puri, everything is going according to plan."

_After school… With Yukimura and Sanada…_

Sanada's eyebrow twitched the minute he stepped out of the gate. That was NOT a good sign. Who knows what would become of the tennis club if he and Yukimura weren't around. He fiddled nervously with his cap before turning to Yukimura.

"Yukimura, I don't see why we have to skip training to watch a movie. The nationals may be over but we cannot afford to let down our guard."

"But it's The NOTEBOOK! Besides, the club can manage a day without us, and you're starting to sound like Tezuka." Yukimura chuckled. 'Besides, I'M the SEME, and YOU will listen to ME, muahahahaha…' And no, Yukimura did NOT say that out loud.

_Back at School…_

Immediately after Yukimura and Sanada left, Niou sneaked into the clubroom, dragging Yagyuu with him. Once they were inside, Niou locked the door. Just as the door shut, Marui, Akaya, Yanagi and Jackal came along.

"Strange, the door won't open…Pop…"

"Ssh! Marui-senpai, listen…"

_---_

"_Puri, coast is clear, let's do it Hiro-chan!"_

"_Are you sure we should be doing this? Won't we get into trouble?"_

"_Puri, nobody will ever find out. Come on, just strip!"_

"_W-wait, Niou-kun, let me just…"_

"_Hiro-chaaaaaan, I've already waited so long!"_

"_Niou-kun! __N-no, not my shirt! Wait! Don't pull my pants, I'll take it off myself!"_

'_THUMP!'_

_---_

Marui and Jackal fainted, while Yanagi scribbled rapidly in his notebook. Akaya just walked away, dragging his two senpai. He had no idea what was going on… Naive little Akaya…

Niou and Yagyuu walked out of the clubroom, dressed as Sanada and Yukimura respectively.

"Strange, I swear I heard the brattling's and the ball of fat's voices out here… Oh well, must've been my imagination. Hiro-chan, can you actually SEE without your glasses?"

"I'm wearing contacts, Niou-kun."

"Puri, heh, shall we start our little party now?"

"As you wish, Niou-kun."

---

_At the movies…_

Sanada suddenly felt a chill run down his spine. He hoped nothing bad was happening back at school. But he supposed it was worth it, seeing Yukimura so happy. Though, the show was rather annoying. Bad Sanada, he shouldn't have ignored his gut instinct…

_---_

"MUAHAHAHA! THAT'S RIGHT! GO RUN 3.1415926542 LAPS NOW!"

The terrified first years broke into a sprint, headlessly running around the courts not bothering to count the number of laps. Yanagi stared for a moment before scribbling down notes again.

"It would seem like Genichirou has finally cracked. He just recited the exact value of π2 …"

Akaya pouted, "Buchou! Sanada – Fukubuchou is making us run impossible laps!"

"Kirihara – Kun, we'll chat all you want AFTER you finish your laps."

Akaya looked at Yukimura [Yagyuu], dumbfounded, before breaking in tears. "NOOOO B-BUCHOU D-DOESN'T LIKE ME ANYMORE, H-HE CALLED ME K-KIRIHARA – KUN!" Akaya ran out of the courts crying like a sissy while everyone just stared at him as he exited.

"Pop."

"MARUI! NO BUBBLEGUM ALLOWED IN THE COURTS! GO RUN 5.134749933 LAPS NOW!"

"WHAT?! How do I… Oh, never mind…" Marui begrudgingly spat out his gum and started to run his laps.

"Ii Data, Genichirou just told Marui to run π multiplied by the gravity of the moon number of laps."

Jackal hesitantly approached Sanada [Niou] before asking timidly, "Sanada – Fukubuchou, err, what should I do?"

"YOU! GO RUN 12.18249396 LAPS NOW, SIMPLY BECAUSE I HATE YOUR ANNOYING HAIRSTYLE!"

Jackal gasped and run out of the court dramatically. "WHY, OH WHY! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE

THIS BLASPHEMY?"

"Genichirou's numbers are increasing, Ii data, he just made Jackal run e2.5 laps…"

"YANAGI! GO RUN 12.34251921 LAPS FOR ANNOYING US WITH YOUR DATA!"

"Ii data, Genichirou has- Hey wait, I thought we were in this together!"

"Oops, sorry Yanagi, I was getting carried away… Hey, what happened to everyone? They should have finished their laps by now."

Looking around, Niou realized that everyone had collapsed from their laps due to the fact that nobody knew how many laps to run…

---

_Later that day…_

"TARUNDORU! WHAT HAPPENED HERE?!"

Sanada returned to find the place scattered with student bodies and Niou and Yagyuu were nowhere to be found…

-tbc-

**A/N:** Whoa, this chapter is the longest chapter ever! O.o" Hehe, anyways, finally updated after so long xD… Comments are appreciated, Matta~


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